A Miracle and a blessing

 Hello everyone!  

Today has been a day.  My part was easier I think than Hubby's and Rubic's.  For those who don't know, Rubic is the online name I have for our youngest son.  

It started out simple enough.  I had a couple of orders to get out, and I did some baking.  Nothing too awful.  Hubby was going to be picking Rubic up from work, so I was kinda of taking things slow.  I had dinner already planned and laid out.  I had even ground up corn meal to make corn bread for tonight's dinner.  I was feeling so organized and productive.  

Then I got the call.  Rubic had gotten off work earlier than anticipated and a friend/co worker was bringing him home.  On the way, the friend turned left and into the path of another car he had failed to see.  The passenger side, where Rubic was sitting, was hit broad side.  From what his friend told me later, Rubic's head hit the dash board, and the shattering glass showered him, causing a gash under his eye.  He was pinned in the car.  The EMTs had to cut him from the car.  His friends car was totaled.  Fortunately Rubic was wearing a seat belt.  He was taken by ambulance to the ER.  Hubby, who was just off from work and on his way to get Rubic from work, received the call about the accident from me, and headed to the ER where he spent the next 4 hours with Rubic while he was being treated.  I got to sit home helpless because they are only allowed 1 visitor due to covid.  I spent that time  receiving and relaying updates, readying Rubics room for when he came home, and eating badly.

But guys, he got out of there with 6 stitches, no neck or back injuries that we are aware of at the moment, and some scratches.  Now, don't get me wrong; he is hurting.  He's limping, I suppose from the leg that was pinned.  Every muscle is traumatized.  There isn't one part of his body that isn't screaming in pain.  

But he's here.  He's home.  While not sound yet, he is safe.  I, however have eaten my way thru this!  Dinner ended up being Little Caesar's pizza.  He's sleeping at the moment, and I'm thankful that I can still be here for him.  

That he walked/limped away is a Miracle and a Blessing, and one I don't take lightly.  So Thank you Lord!  for watching over my son today.  I can never thank you enough.

My New Mantra

I've written about how much of a struggle the past two years have been regarding my health and weight.  As a result of that struggle, I've slipped into old habits of beating myself up when I gain, or have a bad day.  When I fall short of what I want to do.  

Those comments I make to myself, can pile up.  If you were under verbal abuse from someone every day for 2 years, it would take it's toll.  Subsequently, I've been my own worst enemy in that I set myself up to fail, then berate myself over the failure.  

Yea, that's not happening anymore.  My new statement is "I'm worth my taking care of myself, and my husband is worth my taking care of myself".  This goes both ways.  My hubby is so good to work out diligently each day, taking one day off in a week.  Whenever I comment on how good he looks, his response is always "I'm doing it for you babe".  He doesn't just mean to look good.  What he's saying is "I love you so much I want to spend as much time as possible with you".  He does it to stay healthy so we have more time together in this life.  He deserves I feel the same way, and act on it.  

Saying I want to spend the rest of my life with him, yet not doing what I can to insure it's a good long time, is disingenuous. 

That's my earthly motivator.  

God see me as special too.  Should I ever falter on that one, I can remember this:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you received from God?  You are not your own.  You were bought with a price.  Therefore Honor God with your bodies."

Psalm 139:13-14 "For you created my inmost being.  You knit me together in my mothers womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Your works are wonderful.  I know that full well".

1 Peter 2:9 " For you are a chosen people (person), a royal priesthood, a holy nation. God's special possession that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light"

What are your motivators?  Whatever they are, have them first affirm how wonderful and special you are!  Never lose sight of that.  You are not defined by a scale, your clothes, or how your day's going.

Thoughts of long ago.

Christmas Eve, makes me remember when I was a child and December 24th would arrive.  I think Christmas Eve has always been my favorite.  Don't get me wrong.  Presents have always been great so Christmas Morning was the ultimate, but Christmas Morning was the last day.  Once the gifts were unwrapped, the anticipation was over.  Christmas Eve, however, was the height of anticipation.  There was electricity in the air!  As a child I felt like Christmas Day would never come and Christmas Eve seemed to last forever.  But it was fun.  We always got a gift on Christmas Eve.  Some little something to take the edge off so to speak.  Ironically the one gift I remember the best from a childhood Christmas Eve was the one I received in bed because I had the stomach flu.  Stomach flu had gone thru just about everyone and I was one of the last on the roster.  I had recovered by Christmas Day, but was still shaky.  Anyway, I got a Charlie Brown...how would you say?  It was like a magnetic board, but it wasn't magnetic.  It was slick and it had little slick Charlie Brown Characters you could attach in any way you wanted in order to create a scene.  Not a big elaborate gift, but it did the trick.

Christmas Eve was the best after bed time.  The one time of year children will willingly go to bed and try to sleep.  In order to keep us 5 kids in line, Christmas Eve was the time all the kids slept in the same room with our oldest sister watching us.  We had electric candles in the window and my mom would have multiple colors of lights in them.  We got to leave the candles on and the result was surreal.  There was little to no sleep....for us or our parents.  My poor parents were up just about the whole night getting everything out.  I (We, Daddy I wasn't the only one regardless of what they say) was up the whole night worrying my parents were still going to be awake and Santa wouldn't stop (Bad parents!  lol), or sneaking out to the hall to peer into the darkness (again Daddy I wasn't the only one) in the hopes we could see something after our parents turned the lights off and went to bed.  Needless to say 5 am was a perfectly logical time to drag my sister and subsequently our parents out of the bed to start Christmas Day.

As the years have passed my Christmases have changed.  No longer a child myself, I would see Christmas through the eyes of my children.   Wide eyed wonder at the lights, Santa, the presents, etc.  Now my Children are adults themselves.  My daughter and her husband have the joy of seeing Christmas in their children's eyes.  Christmas has changed for us again.  Now it is really more of a spiritual celebration.  I still love the giving and receiving of gifts, but my focus turns more toward why we give those gifts.

This year, as I laid out the Nativity, it just so happened O Holy Night was playing on Pandora.  The Nativity ended up being laid out with tears. I couldn't help but Praise God for this precious gift.  Over 2000 years ago, on another Christmas Eve, the world held its breath in anticipation of the child to be born on Christmas Day.  I guess anticipation has always been a major part of Christmas, only the first Christmas never ended with the coming of Christmas day.  Instead it became the beginning of everything.

The Hope I have

"But Sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and be always ready to give an answer to every man who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear" 1 Peter 3:15.

I've been asked in the past what it would take to make me no longer believe in God; more specifically Jesus.  Why do I believe the way I do?  I can tell you for me personally it is the presence of Christ in my life and the change it has brought.  But that doesn't "Prove" His existence.  To each his own I guess.  My facts would be belittled and labeled "wishful thinking" by some.  I can tell you this for a fact.  My faith could only be shaken if presented with the actual un-risen body of Jesus.  You see my faith is not contingent on how the earth was created, or if we evolved or not.  My faith rests in a risen Savior.  

"But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead?  If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised.  And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.  More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised.  For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either.  And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins.  Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost.  If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied." Corinthians 15:12-19.

The above referenced verse was spoken by Paul.  A man who once persecuted even to the death those who followed Christ, but whose conversion was so great he later gave his own life for Christ.  Would 11 of 12 disciples give their lives (violently) for a hoax?  My Dad made a great point one day at a family dinner.  If you were the disciples then and you were wanting to perpetuate a hoax, knowing how the culture was back then, would you have had the first announcement of the Resurrection made by a woman?  Interesting thought. 

I need no reason to prove Gods existence.  I know what I was.  I know what I am now.  I know what He brought me out of.  The love it took to come and die, the power it took to rise from the dead, and the grace that is offered to me (and you) still.  That is the reason I serve him.  That is the reason for the hope I have. 

This Easter, as with every Easter, is special for me.  More special than when I was young.  You see, it is because of Easter that I am who I am.  Christmas is great because He came.  Good Friday because he died for me (and you), but Easter!  Easter is when HE ROSE!  And that makes allllll the difference.

When I was 22....

Yesterday was my birthday.  I turned.....46.  Can't really complain.  My mom says consider the alternative.  That always helps keep things in perspective.  Another thing that eases the "Ouch" of getting older, is when I look back over my life and see how far I have come. 

When I was 22, I was a single mom who had only a high school diploma.  I was delinquent on many debts such as credit card bills, utility bills, etc.  I was a single mom who took a job at a McDonalds in order to get off welfare and food stamps.  I was immature, shallow, and on the run from Christ.  Thanks to God He kept pursuing me.  The biological father of my daughter had left me for another woman.  I found out the hard way.  I shouldn't need to explain that one.  I really shouldn't have been surprised.  He had done the same thing to his wife...with me.  Yes, I was that woman.  I was "the other woman".  When he left me, I found myself devastated and sitting on the small porch of the garage apartment I shared with my daughter.  It was a cold evening...and late; probably around midnight or so.  Before I could stop myself, I said "why me?".  No sooner were the words out of my mouth than I was regretting it.  Never ask a question you A) already know the answer to, and B) know that God will hold up to you and force you to answer.

 I felt a presence next to me so strong I was afraid if I turned my head to the side, I might actually realize I wasn't really alone.  I heard a voice in my spirit that said as clear as day "Now do you understand why I said not to have affairs with married men "(You know the old thou shalt not commit adultery). You see I had been convinced, contrary to what I had been taught as a child, that God just loved us and all the "don'ts" in the Bible were just a power play by man to control us and keep us down.  What I realized in that moment is that, just as a mother would tell her child not to touch a hot stove, or don't play in the street, etc, our Heavenly Father tells us to not do certain things in order to protect us...not to control us.  When a child disobeys, they put themselves out of their parents protection and GET HURT.  When we disobey our heavenly father, we put ourselves out of His protection and we get hurt and hurt others.  Who did I hurt by my actions? myself obviously, the wife of the man I was involved with, and my daughter for starters.  My daughters pain has been an on going one for the past 23 years of her life.  It's a cross I bear and will for the rest of my life.  I know I am forgiven now, but the consequences of my actions are still there.
I would like to say I turned my life around right then and there.  I didn't.  I was a stubborn child.  It took many years of God shepherding me to the place He wanted me; the point where I would give my life back to Him,  I can look back and see the places where God closed one door only to open another  to allow me to move forward in the path He wanted for me. 

He brought me to a place where I could get a good job to provide for my daughter. He kept me away from those who would influence me in the wrong way, He brought prayer warriors to my defense in the form of my friend, my mom and my sister.  He brought my husband into my life first as a friend/co-worker then as my husband who is still even today my best friend.  He brought us children and made us a family.  He gave me strength at the times in my life when I thought I would be crushed by the weight of what I was dealing with.  He gave me back my life.  Life more abundant than I could ever have imagined.  I am content.  I am at peace.  I am loved.  I am forgiven.  Not just by my Heavenly Father, but also by the woman I betrayed and my daughter.  I can never thank Him or praise Him enough.
So you see,while I would looooooove to look like I am 22, I would not be 22 again.  So Happy Birthday to ME!

Proverbs 31woman or Martha?

Not Martha Stewart GUYS!  Martha of the Bible!

 "As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.   She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.   But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
  “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,  but few things are needed—or indeed only one.   Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”" (Luke 10 vs 38-42)

While in Church Sunday I received an awesome compliment from a lady at my church that I admire greatly.  She referred to me as" a real Proverbs 31 woman".   I won't post the whole thing , but you can read the verses by clicking here.  While I'm honored to be referred to that way, and it is something I aspire to, I have to ask myself "am I a Proverbs 31 woman or am I Martha?"  There's a fine line between the two.  It is possible to be so busy upholding the Proverbs 31 ideal that we forget to be Mary at Jesus feet.  I fall into this trap often.  I get so caught up in all the things I do, that I forget Who I serve.   God doesn't need me to bake, garden, can, sew, etc.   Those things are fine in and of themselves, but if they take my eyes off God, something is out of balance.  He wants me to love and serve him.  .

It's a hard thing to not get caught up in everything we have to do to raise a family, have a career, or both. Women are made to multi-task.  It's a great thing to be able to do.  Just a thought...Have you ever noticed that we have all these gadgets to save time and yet we are busier and more stressed that ever before.  Huh, go figure....Anyway, multi-tasking sure does come in handy when raising children.  We make time for our spouse, our job, our children, and, maybe, at the end of the day, there's little left for God.  It's no wonder God made the father to be the spiritual head of the house.  It isn't because he loves women less, or thinks we're incapable.  If anything it is (in my opinion) God's way of saying "you already have so much on you, this is one thing I can delegate to someone else."  That doesn't negate the need for my own personal relationship with Christ.  That I am responsible for. 

So while honored by the comparison to the Proverbs 31 woman, I think I'm going to try to be more like  Mary...... as soon as I clean the kitchen.....KIDDING!

For those of you I haven't announced it to...

I HAVE A GRAIN MILL!   WOOOUP, WOOUP!  Interesting story to tell,  My sister tells it better than I.  After cleaning my sisters house Friday, I went by a thrift store near(really near)her house.  I have mentioned said store in the past.  It is The Ric Rac.  My sister and I go there often.  Anyhoo.  I was going to find a larger TV for my hubby's "man cave".  My son and I get there and I am showing him around the store.  We go into the kitchen section and I tell him "I always have to come in here to see if  they have a grain mill for sale, but they never do.  Ah well".  So we leave that section and go down  stairs to the furniture and electronics.  We find a suitable TV($25), a 27 in.  I turn to go up stairs to pay for it and, don't ask me why I noticed it, but I notice a box.  ACROSS THE ROOM.   I walk closer and notice it has a picture of wheat stalks on it....closer and I see a knob on the front with the settings of coarse or fine.  OMG IT IS A GRAIN MILL!  Breathlessly I look at the price $75!  The great thing about this mill being a used mill, was there was flour in it from before.  I was able to tell how fine it would grind the flour.  It goes without saying I BOUGHT IT!   Now my sister tells me that God wanted to bless me with this grain mill.  He said "Okay, we need to hide this mill in the furniture section so no one finds it.  And also you need to mark it $75 cause that is all she will have".  That part is true.  It just so happens that I get paid $75 to clean my sisters house and I had just gotten paid.  She says I probably noticed it because I had an angel standing behind me going "look that way".  Anyone who has read Frank Perretti's "Piercing the Darkness" will get this..I have to say I like my sisters version.  It is nice to know God does desire to give us good things.  I think sometimes people make the mistake of thinking the good things God is supposed to give us are things like a check mysteriously coming in the mail that pays off all of your debt, uh  the ability to never ever get sick(heard that one), A BRAND NEW CAR!  You know like God is the Price is Right.  Now I am not saying He doesn't do those things, but most times those blessings come in the form of say a helping hand to put on a new roof, a loaf of bread made by hand, pears from a friend, someone to hold your hand when you need strength, someone to pray for you, hug you, love you.  God can and does bless us in so many ways.  Ways we even now don't deserve.  He doesn't do it because we deserve it.  He does it because like any good father he love us and wants to give us good things.

"If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those that ask him "Matt 7:11. 

But you know the best gift God can ever, and has ever given us is His Son, Jesus.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us".  Romans 5:8

While I love my grain mill as well as every blessing I have received, they can all pass away.  I am content with the greatest gift I have ever received.   Christ loving sacrifice so that I might be able to have a relationship with Him. Awesome.

BE SUBMISSIVE?

Once a few years ago, I was called on by a co-worker who outranked me just a bit, to work extra.  My husband had told me before that he didn't mind my working in the mornings or late at night, but the 12-8 pm time slot was hard for him because he had to come home from work and rather than relax and spend time with the kids, he had to hit the ground running cooking dinner, getting homework, etc.  So when this co worker asked me to work that 12-8 pm shift, I told her I could work another one but that my husband didn't want me working those hours.  Her response to me "do you always do what he says?".  This response amazed me because this, to me, didn't feel like being submissive or "under his thumb" so to speak, but instead felt like I was being considerate of his feelings.  This is something every marriage should have.
There are a lot of articles and sermons written on the old "wives be submissive to your husbands" text in scripture(Eph 5 vs 22-24).  I have read both pros and cons.  Today I found a similar sounding scripture but dealing with different people entirely and it put things into perspective for me.  1Peter 5 vs 5 "Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older.  All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because "" God opposed the proud but gives grace to the humble"".  We are to each, whether male or female, old or young, fat/skinny, educated/non educated, etc, treat each other with respect, consideration.  An older person has wisdom a younger person may not have, yet a younger person can assist an older person in a physical task they can no longer complete.  We each bring to the body of Christ certain talents and abilities.
My husband and I took part in a Daniel Fast this past January.  For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a fast consisting of only fruits, vegetables, grains, and nuts/legumes.  No meat, sugars, dairy.  We went to a book store to find a cook book for recipes for the fast.  We found  one that had both recipes and devotions for during the fast.  Without even planning to, we each went to what I believe we were created to take care of.  I was looking at the recipes and planning menus and such and my husband automatically went to the devotions.  As the spiritual head of the house his was as it should be.  We each have strengths and weaknesses and I believe God has put us together to help each other become the best we can. God's plan is so much better than the plan we would have on our own.  He knows what we need.  I have no qualms about being a help meet to my husband.  My submission to him isn't because he is stronger or smarter than I am .  It is a conscious decision to respect him and be considerate of him.  He in turn "loves me as Christ loves the church".  We are a team, and yes the final say is his.

One of my favorite Psalms, Psalm 139

To know that God knows my every thought, move, feeling, is an amazing an humbling thing.  He has known me since before I was born.  His thoughts of me are many and are wonderful.  This is a verse I love and yet somehow I have had a hard time grasping this kind of love.  But when you think of it, how deep is the love that would have sent His only son to die for us, and how deep would the love be of the one willing to go.  Even for me alone.  Even for you alone.  Read on and see that this verse isn't just for me, but it is to each of us.  All we have to do is accept Him.  His love is never ending, His faithfulness no no bounds.  His mercies are new every morning.  Can I  give him the same love?  Can I put him first in my life?  I am not perfect, and I will fall, But I will also try.

Psalm 139 vs 1-18

1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mothers womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
They would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you.