A refreshing change.

 Full disclosure for those that may have just tuned in.  3 years ago this past August 27th, I had a mild heart attack ( didn't feel mild at the time).  No blockages, so that was good.  However, my cholesterol has been a concern since as far as my physicians were concerned.  It wasn't elevated and no blockages, but they wanted it even lower.  They also wanted my weight down more.  So did I.  That we agreed on.  We've just disagreed how to get there.  Funny thing was I was actually down 63 lbs from my highest weight and at the healthiest point in my entire life! 

The past three years have been stressful to say the least.  As a result My weight was up.  To be totally honest, it was up 26 pounds.  26 pounds!  YIKES.  But notice I said "was up".  It's now down 7 pounds from there.  I'm hopeful this is it and I have reclaimed things, but I'm not willing to claim that yet.  However, I will take the 7 pounds.  It's a daily journey.

So knowing my weight is up, and with now a history of heart disease; I headed to two doctor visits ( one day apart).  I'll tell you I was loaded forbear.  I was ready for a fight.  I was totally ready to deal with a vaccine push by my doctors; an Endocrinologist, and a Cardiologist!  

Know what?  Aside from a questionnaire about general health information that included a question of "  have you been vaccinated for Covid 19"( to which I answered "No"); nothing was mentioned.  Nothing.  Both visits were completely normal ( aside from having to wear a mask ((eye roll)). 

I have to say it was quite a nice change.  I still had bodily autonomy at my doctors office.  I really did appreciate it.  There are now at least two physicians I know that still respect the "Patient Bill of Rights".  Yes that is actually a thing.   To read the full version, you're welcome to click here

Here's a couple from the list I thought to highlight:

1)  The right to Refuse care

2)  The right to agree or refuse to take part in medical research studies without it affecting patient's care.

3) The right to give informed consent prior to the administration of any non emergent care by receiving  information on the benefits, risks, alternatives to a particular treatment, as well as benefits and risks of those alternatives.  

4) The right to have respect shown for the your( and my) values, beliefs and wishes.

It was nice to see that still in action in my neck of the woods.  If it isn't in your's, then fight for it!  You have rights as a patient.  Don't let them tell you otherwise.  

I will leave with this one little bit of new info I've discovered.  I was shocked to see that my cholesterol, which is usually really good, had shot up to 238!  It has never been over the 180's, even when I was very overweight and eating junk.  Guess what?  According to WebMD, stress over a long period of time can release large amounts of cortisol and can increase cholesterol levels!  That's news!  

It's not like we've all been under excessive amounts of stress lately have we?  NAH!

Needless to say I'm working to get those levels back where they need to be.  I'm moving, and getting my weight down.  It's a daily journey.  

 I'll update when I can. 

Something important missing in February

 There are a lot of events in February; Black History Month, Valentines day, Presidents day, and even weather ( Yes I meant to spell it this way)or not spring will come early or not!  Whew!  That's a lot for the shortest month of the year.  

While I'm all for celebrating some of our Citizens, unending love, our forefathers, and warmer weather, I've noticed something missing that is also important.  In fact, in can be life and death important.

February is also Heart Disease awareness month.  Seems fitting, but sadly in the first 2 weeks of this full month, nary a peep I've heard. 

So since no one else will talk about it, I will.  

1)  Heart disease is the leading cause of death in both men and women of all races and ethnicities.  Greater than even Breast cancer ladies.  So while you're concerned about "the girls", think about what's behind them too.

2)  1 in 4 Americans die each year from Heart Disease.  The CDC estimates that's 655,000 Americans.  Hmm greater than the fatalities of Covid in the US this past year.  Where's the outcry?  Maybe there should have been at least some focus on Heart Disease awareness after all.

3)  Someone has a heart attack every 40 seconds in the US.  The CDC estimates 805,000 people have a heart attack in the US each year.  Of these the CDC estimates approximately 600,000 of these are first attacks.  Here's the kicker; 1 in 5 of all attacks are silent.  The damage is done, but the person isn't aware. 

4)  Lets bring it a little closer to home.  If someone is Obese, has diabetes, has a bad diet, and/or has no physical activity; they are at risk for heart disease.  That means any or all of these.  You can be thin and still out of shape FYI.  Yes the chances are greater if you are obese, mainly because if you are it means you more than likely have more than one of these risk factors.  

5)  If your father had a heart attack before the age of 50, or your mother had a heart attack before the age of 65, then you have a family history.  That means you can have a genetic disposition to heart disease.  My father had his first attack at 50.  I had mine at the age of 51.  My kids now have a family history.  

6)  Many peoples first symptom of a heart attack is death.  

Have I scared you?  I'm not posting this to instill fear.  I'm posting this to educate.  We have cities in lock down; mandated or self imposed, wearing masks, losing jobs, etc, for a virus that has killed fewer people than heart disease.  The irony of this is some of the main things closed are gyms!  In some places people have no choice but to sit at home and eat.   That's their entertainment! Try exercising at home with kids.  Yea, not fun.

I'm waiting for the powers that be to focus on our maintaining good health, which in turn can help with surviving this current virus.  

Heart disease doesn't have a vaccine we can vie for.  You have to do the work.  Watch what you eat, move.  Don't smoke, Vape, Drink alcohol, Eat Junk, etc.  We don't have to become one of these statistics. In fact, better than that, we can change these and bring them down!  So what do you think?

CDC facts

A Successful week all round!

Good morning world!  How's everyone!  I'm fit to be tied today.  I've successfully completed a full week of healthy eating and activity.  The scale has awarded my efforts with a 5.6 lb weight loss.  Now some of that may be water weight, but it's no longer there is my point.  I use a website to keep track of calories called www.sparkpeople.com.  Each week I record my weight (well I'm supposed too, but some weeks I haven't recently).  I looked back over the last 6 months of recordings, and have not weighed this weight in 4 months,  

I've worked out or been otherwise active every day this week, but it's my eating that sealed the deal.  That's been my main issue.  I'm an active person in general, and while I did avoid the treadmill like the plague (or I guess in our day and age "The Rona!"), I've been outside most days doing rather physical work.  My eating was the problem.  I couldn't seem to get that under control.  It was like I had an angel on one shoulder saying "You don't need to eat that", and a devil on the other saying "one time won't hurt".  One time won't hurt, but a string of ones times will.  

If anyone is wondering what plan I'm using, I've gone back to what I know and what worked for me, and is working for me now.  

1.  Real food, nothing diet, nothing artificially low or nonfat, no processed food.  While I can and do have an occasional form of bread, the vast majority of my carb intake comes from fruits, veggies.and dairy.  When I am having some type of bread item, it's limited, whole grain, and unprocessed.  

2. Portion control.  People turn off at this one usually.  I've found the vast majority of folk want something where they can eat as much as they want with no calories to worry about.  Well I do too!  I want a Million dollars as well!  Our bodies work very specifically.  It is calories in, calories out.  Doesn't matter what diet plan you're on, trust me, it's still calories in calories out.  It's even more important for me because I have an autoimmune disease called Hashimoto Thyroiditis.  Basically my immune system attacked my thyroid, so mine doesn't work anymore.  I've been on meds for this for 30 years.  Due to this, my metabolism is slower, and I need to keep my protein high normal and my carb level low normal.  Spark people helps me do this because they break everything down so I can see what I ate in each category.  So to be accurate, I have to weigh or otherwise measure what I eat.  I guess it can be a bother, but I'm just used to it now.  

3.  Counting calories.  Naturally this goes with portion control.  This is my boundary line.  I can choose to eat whatever I want, but I can't go past my boundary line.  By the same token, I need to make sure I'm eating the minimum calories for my body to function.  Too few calories and my body will hold onto weight to protect me from the famine we are obviously in.  Nice body to protect me so.

4.  Quality-  I get more food, and am more satisfied when I choose quality foods; whole foods, fruits veggies, good fats ( and yes butter is a good fat), and unprocessed foods.  1200 calories of highly processed foods is void of the nutrients the body needs.  It doesn't stay with you very long.  It has a lot of filler, chemicals, etc that the body doesn't recognize.  1200 calories of quality foods has all your body needs,  When the body has what it needs, it won't trigger you to eat.  Yes, your body can do that.  Weird cool!  As a result, you're more satisfied.  Whole fat dairy is way better than low or nonfat dairy.  Great thing with whole fat dairy is I can eat less of it and fill in with a fruit or veggie.  

5.  Move.  Gotta be active.  I did get back on the treadmill.  I will be on it this week too, but I will also be outside taking care of animals, the garden, digging, etc.  I will be active, and I will do something structured.  I will say, pick something you can live with.  

Other tips I would give is to get a decent nights sleep, make sure your drinking water, and relish ( no pun intended) the victories no matter how small.  Keep your eye on the prize.  There are times when I won't lose, or will have a bad day.  I will get up dust myself off and keep moving forward.  Over a two year time span I put on 15 pounds.  My old self would have added all 63 pounds back plus some, but this time I never totally gave up.  I kept trying at least.  I would much rather lose 15 pounds instead of 63.  

So last week is a victory.  Yay!  Now to start on this week.and we'll see what happens!  I would love to hear other success stories!  Won't you share yours!?

My New Mantra

I've written about how much of a struggle the past two years have been regarding my health and weight.  As a result of that struggle, I've slipped into old habits of beating myself up when I gain, or have a bad day.  When I fall short of what I want to do.  

Those comments I make to myself, can pile up.  If you were under verbal abuse from someone every day for 2 years, it would take it's toll.  Subsequently, I've been my own worst enemy in that I set myself up to fail, then berate myself over the failure.  

Yea, that's not happening anymore.  My new statement is "I'm worth my taking care of myself, and my husband is worth my taking care of myself".  This goes both ways.  My hubby is so good to work out diligently each day, taking one day off in a week.  Whenever I comment on how good he looks, his response is always "I'm doing it for you babe".  He doesn't just mean to look good.  What he's saying is "I love you so much I want to spend as much time as possible with you".  He does it to stay healthy so we have more time together in this life.  He deserves I feel the same way, and act on it.  

Saying I want to spend the rest of my life with him, yet not doing what I can to insure it's a good long time, is disingenuous. 

That's my earthly motivator.  

God see me as special too.  Should I ever falter on that one, I can remember this:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you received from God?  You are not your own.  You were bought with a price.  Therefore Honor God with your bodies."

Psalm 139:13-14 "For you created my inmost being.  You knit me together in my mothers womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Your works are wonderful.  I know that full well".

1 Peter 2:9 " For you are a chosen people (person), a royal priesthood, a holy nation. God's special possession that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light"

What are your motivators?  Whatever they are, have them first affirm how wonderful and special you are!  Never lose sight of that.  You are not defined by a scale, your clothes, or how your day's going.

Remembering THAT Girl

Look at that girl!

This picture was taken not even 2 years ago.  It'll be two years this summer.  I have no make up on.  We were camping as well so, hair not styled and got my play clothes on.  We were in the middle of a hike; a hike of a moderately steep trail, and hubby decided to take a picture.

I love this picture.  You'd think I would've been embarrassed with the lack of grooming, but I wasn't.  I love this picture because of what it represents.  I was 63 pounds down from my starting weight, not my highest weight, but my starting weight.  You can see me at my highest weight below.

  At 51 years old I had finally figured out how to be healthy.  I was feeling good.  I'd go shopping for clothes (cause it was fun now), find something I'd think I couldn't wear yet, try it on anyway, and find it fit!  I moved easier, had more energy, wore comfortable clothes because they fit!  I was chomping at the bit to be active.  I wanted to move. The girl in the first picture had it all together.

Then the heart attack happened barely 2 months later.  A heart attack with no visible reason why.  For 2 weeks I was told to not do anything.  I couldn't even lift a gallon of milk, they said.  Then I couldn't workout unless cleared with a stress test and I needed to go thru rehab.  That wasn't for another 2 months.  Rehab told me I was to never get my heart rate above 124, so while my muscles were like "Hey we got this", the rehab folks (party poopers) would slow me down, and I wouldn't even be breathing hard!  In the midst of all that I was on two meds that had a side effect of chest pain.
 What?

 I spent a lot of time talking myself down off the ledge.  Rehab was the only place I felt comfortable exerting myself because I was on a monitor, but the exercise I was getting there was no where near what I had been doing.

Another side effect of one med was a panicked feeling.  That med went the way of the dodo after Christmas, but while on it, the least little twinge and I was panicking.  Since the other side effects of both meds were chest pain, well yea, not a fun combo.  Hubby wanted me to stay on the second med( the non panicky one) until my labs were done that following Sept ( as in this past Sept).  This med was supposed to lower cholesterol (but I never had a blockage?)and reinforce me artery walls.  So, okay.  I'll stay on it.  My OBGYN told me later that Magnesium would reinforce my arteries as well.

 Really? Hmmm.

So, I got my labs back that September and my cholesterol was up.  Still normal, but up from what it was.  So was my weight; not much, about 5 lbs.  In came the Magnesium, out went the cholesterol med.

During all this, Pre-Menopause showed up.  With that came sleepless nights, crazy carb cravings, and three day long head splitting headaches that no med could touch.  I would get back on track eating wise only to have one of these hit and disable me for 2 or 3 days.  Now we have the pandemic, quarantine, and items out of stock at the store.  Wild ride.

Are these excuses?  Some, maybe.  But in all honesty it's the only way I can explain the toil the past almost two years have taken.  I've had good times too, some milestones I wanted to hit I did, But the woman I am now is not the woman in that picture.  At least not yet.

I saw the above picture the other day and I thought about that girl.  Who she was, how she felt, and decided I want her back.  At this point I'm up about 15 lbs.  I look at my clothes and some I know I can't wear, and others I hope I can still wear.

Still in the Pandemic, pre-menopause is still a factor.  In fact, just had one of those headaches 2 days ago.  I've got to work my way thru this.  I want her back.  I know she's there inside probably rolling her eyes and tapping her foot waiting on me to get my act together.

I had a glimpse of her today.  I got a good nights sleep last night.  I awoke refreshed and raring to go.  My hubby thinks it was too much caffeine, but it wasn't.  Maybe a combination of morning coffee and sleep gave me energy I haven't had in a long time.  On the heels of that thought came the realization that I've been existing for a while on 4-5 hours sleep, carbs, caffeine and nerves.  Not a good combo.

That's about to change.

From Fear, and Frustration, to VICTORY!

Wow, that's a lofty title.  Hmmm may be a bit hard to live up to in some circumstances, but in mine, that's how I feel.  In situations like mine, small victories are still victories.

 Coming out of the hospital, fear seemed a constant companion.  Every twinge was a possible recurrence. "What ifs" were abundant.  What if I have another attack.  What if I never recover?  What if I don't survive next time.  What will my family do if...  Through a lot of prayer and determination, I've managed to keep the fear at bay more often than not.  Some of the "what ifs" were allayed by future planning and not putting my head in the sand anymore.  The ones that dealt with the physicality of what happened or could happen, had to be handled with physicality.

Frustration came next.  One day I would be going great guns.  Woo hoo on my way!  Then I would over do and be down for a couple of days.  I've learned that lesson.  Slow and steady wins this race.  Last week during one of my rehab workouts, the physiologist made me slow down, and bring the incline down.  But I was doing so well!  That was Monday a week ago.  On Wednesday I asked him if I can still do the same workout as I was doing when he slowed me down and he said "Sure".  He said as my heart strengthens, it will take longer before my heart rate is such that he has to come slow me down.  Okay!  Armed with this info and the fact that since I had finished my 6th session with them, and could work out at home too, I moved forward.  Thursday was great.  I got on the treadmill and did the same workout as I did at the rehab clinic.  Problem is, I then went outside and did, what I thought wasn't strenuous garden work.  FYI, garden work is at least 75% upper body.  Sore arms, chest, and sore shoulders from gardening and sewing about sent me into a panic attack.  What's concerning, what isn't.  I knew I had over done again!  So I took Friday off from rehab.  Then I took Saturday off from anything physical.  Dh and I drove up into the mountains and looked at antique shops and such.  We had a grand time.

Then came Sunday.  Sunday I resolved to get back on the treadmill but at an easy pace.  I have a heart monitor, and did 45 minutes on the treadmill but in 15 minute increments.  I never let my heart rate get over 110 that day.  It wasn't a true workout, but I moved.

The Victory, however small, came today!  I was back at rehab today.  I knew I was being monitored, and what better way to push yourself than under medical supervision.  I started doing my normal rehab workout; warm up 1 minute at 3 speed 0 incline.  Then up to 3 speed 4 incline.  At every 5 minute mark I brought the incline down to 0 for 1 minute to give my heart a break. Then right back up.  I had been walking 30 minutes with very little trouble when here comes the physiologist telling me to turn down the incline.  He congratulated me though saying he didn't have to come over til the last 5 minutes of the workout.  Now that's great, though at the time I was still frustrated with having to slow down AGAIN!!!!  That wasn't what I call my small victory.  My small victory was this.  After the workout, I went over to him and asked out of curiosity how high my heart rate got before he slowed me down.......130.  Yep!  130.  Yesterday I was worried about it going over 110.  Today It safely went to 130.  Well above what I need to do to stay on track health wise.  He told me I can get it up to 124 at home easy.  To burn fat for a woman my age, my heart needs to beat 115-118.

Mama ain't playin no more.  Let's get this show started!  And no, I am not going outside to work in the garden.  Still pacing myself, but, guys, there's a light at the end of the tunnel!

A change in perspective

Something I've thought about a lot over the last 5+ weeks, but rarely speak out loud is the thought of "What if".  Those two words hover over me.  They hover over me even now, not so much due to fear, although there is some of that ( to be honest)but mainly thru the realization that no one is promised tomorrow.  I remember thinking on the way to the hospital, what if this is it?  I had no way of knowing.  I'd had no experience having a heart attack.  So what if that was it?  Would my family know how much I loved them?  On the practical side, I wondered how my husband would handle the worst happening; my mom, my family.  At the risk of sounding maudlin, what if that was THE day.

Thankfully it wasn't the day.  I'm still here to regale you with my opinion....you're welcome....or sorry..(smile).  So I lived to see another day.   Things have changed though.  I look at things more short term.  I starting to realize how fragile life is...and how precious.  For that I can't help but be thankful.

We all do it.  We make lofty plans (or just plans) for down the road; " I can't wait til fall", "I can't wait til Christmas", "when I get (insert subject here) taken care of, I'll make time for my family, God, myself, etc." There's always tomorrow, until there isn't.  Time with people you love takes on a whole new meaning when you appreciate the fact that any particular day you're together may be the last time you will be together.  We live our lives under the assumption that tomorrow will always come.  Nothing wrong with that.  In a practical sense, we need to plan, budget, figure things out.  We can't always live our lives like there's no tomorrow.  I still make plans for down the road. In fact I'm making plans for a Thanksgiving dinner with my kids. Planning hasn't changed, but now it's with a mental caveat. I'm just more aware, of how each day is a gift. As a result of my new found "awareness", I have sub-consciously initiated a "Never again" list:

1)  Never again will I bemoan a new wrinkle, birthday, or other reminder of old age approaching (uh it's at the door!).  There are many people, younger, sometimes much younger than I that will never have the opportunity to get to the age I am now.  I've watched my three children grow to adulthood,  celebrated my daughter's wedding, the birth of 2 grand children, 25 years of marriage.  Many don't get those chances.  It's extremely selfish on my part to dread a birthday.  Instead I'll embrace each one with thankfulness, and honor every grey hair, wrinkle, sag, etc.

2)  Never again will I shun the treadmill (or other cardio equipment).  While I'm still a huge proponent of any activity is better than none, my perspective has changed on treadmill walking.  Don't get me wrong, my 60 lbs came off with some structured exercise and a lot of unstructured physical activity.  That policy got me from 230 lbs to 170 lbs.  I still believe if you are where I was in the beginning; incorporating a "whatever activity works" policy paired with healthier eating is a good way to start. Structured exercise is no longer something I do just to lose weight.  It's what I do to ensure my survival.  45 minutes of walking is a small price to pay to add years to my life.  I no longer look at it as 45 minutes wasted when I could be doing something productive.  It's producing extra time for me to spend with my family.

3)  Never again will I put off until tomorrow something that should have been done years ago.  Namely, we need a will.  It's on my list of things to do TODAY.   We thought of it.  Sometimes I would say "we need to do that", but the need to worry about it seemed far off and other things took precedent.  That has changed.  I don't care how old you are, if you are an adult, you need a will.  This is what I'm looking into.  Check out this article on Clark Howard's site

https://clark.com/family-lifestyle/wills-funerals/cheapest-easiest-ways-to-do-will/

Wills don't have to break the bank.  It's worth it in the long run, And I've put it off far too long.  Along this same line, there are things I need to get situated in case.  Things I want to do for my kids.

I know this seems like a morbid kind of post, but it really isn't.  It's about a new appreciation for life, and life well lived.  It's about caring for myself daily; physically, mentally, spiritually.  It's about making sure to take care of my family weather here or not.  I just had a wake up call.  Time to get up!

James 4:13-15 " Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, do you not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."


J

Sorry, My bad

Okay so here goes.  It was a big mistake, Huge mistake on my part to think that giving a daily run down of what I ate would  be good for me.  UGH!  All of the sudden I was back in the world of weight watchers and other dieting tricks and it made me want to eat.  Notice I haven't posted for the past few days.  Well that's because all I could have posted would have been "Don't ask".  I guess I still have some hang ups about dieting, and hope, to be honest, I always do.  So, that being said, I'm announcing I'm going back to just a weekly update on weigh ins.  It may or may not be the only post for the week.  When I feel like I want to share; I sometimes share often.

It's amazing to me that once I came to the decision not to give a day by day, I calmed and have been on track today.  That's really saying something.  We had church this morning.  Which is fine, but I tend to get home starving.  I thought ahead and planed my morning.  In addition, my youngest is moving out today.  He found a place with two other friends and off he goes leaving the nest.  I got home thinking I would cook me a pork loin chop and roast some veggies, but instead came home to "Mom can you help me pack?".  Well of course honey let me get lunch started, and now at 4 pm he has taken the first load and I sit to type to you guys.  I did get my chop and veggies.  I literally wolfed it down in between packing.  Now I sit with you guys eating my "Butter Popcorn" which is 4 gms butter to 3 TBS popcorn popped in a microwave popper.

My workout was also a fly by the seat of your pants.  It's house cleaning.  That's what I call packing, lifting, sweeping (sand out of the truck so dear son can take it), etc for the past 2.5 hours, but I only counted 45 minutes.

It was definitely a improv kinda day and improv when it comes to what I eat and how I move is what I need.  Whatever I do has to roll with the punches so to speak.  It has to be flexible because life, more often that not, isn't.

Danger Foods

This time of year I'm readily faced with, and I know you are too, foods that are too good to eat and not good for you (at all).  Thanksgiving and Christmas, along with all the other holidays celebrated this time of year, tend to bring out the good stuff.  Weather it's gifts you're receiving or preparing to give, this can be a tricky time of year to stay on track.  That's one of the reasons I say make your decision as to what you want to do during this season of giving and gaining.  Me?  I wanted to stay status quo.  If I can hold my own during this season and concentrate on losing again after, then I'm fine.  So far, so good.

But......

Enter...the forbidden.  Nah, enter the dangerous.  Technically I CAN have these, but they're trigger foods for me.  Trigger foods are foods that I can't keep in the house in any large number.  In other words I have to limit my exposure to them.  What foods am I talking about?  Well for me it's things like Toffee (apparently... ahem...moving on), M&M's (any kind), ice cream cake (not right now, but in the warmer months).  These things I can't stay away from.  It's not a short coming on my part.  We're genetically geared to be attracted to fat and sugar and, well, there it is!  Like credit cards, I can't be in possession of these things.   It's one thing if i'm at a party and these things are there.  I can enjoy it knowing I'm back on track next day.  What I'm realizing is I can't have them around me all the time.


 How did I come to this epiphany? 


Well Kroger had an amazing sale on Hershey's Baking chips.  That included all flavors.  I stocked up.  Now having an inkling to my weakness for toffee (Heath, Skor), I only bought 5 packages of the heath chips.  But OH MY these things have been the bane of my existence.  I mean really!!!!!!  UGH!  So I have to do something with them.  Well they are now baked into cookies which I will gift friends, family, the post man, etc.  Nothing of this will remain in my house after the 25th.  It can't.  I know my weaknesses.  This is one and it has to go.

We all have those trigger foods.  Having them periodically is fine.  But if you know they're a weakness, don't put yourself into a position of prolonged exposure.  Especially this time of year.  When you're stressed, tired, not feeling 100%, your resolve weakens and you can get yourself into a lot of trouble.  That's what I've been dealing with.  It's been hard with my Etsy store being so busy (Yay).  I knew that it would be going into this season and so Thought I planned accordingly.  This is another lesson learned.  I was sewing, sewing, sewing, grabbing what I could for meals, and sewing.  It doesn't make for a smoothly running machine.  Now things are slowing down with y store, but picking up with the finishing touches of our own Christmas Holiday.  Today is a cloudy, rainy, not feeling well, errand running, etc kind of day and I just needed to get those things out of the house.  So now they're all baked up and on their way out as gifts and so I Have to stay away.

When Monday's come

Okay, true confessions here.  How many of you out there in La, la land have ever had a bad eating day and said "(sigh) Well I'll just start again fresh on Monday".  If I had a nickle for the number of times I made that statement...well, I'd have a lot of nickles.  Problem was, with sheer determination that I would start fresh again on Monday; I would spend the rest of the week eating badly and moving little.  I mean, seriously, come Monday my life would forever be changed and I would never ever be able to eat this way again.  I mean I had to have a farewell party (or parties).  One for the road so to speak.  Sometimes I would even prepare for my fresh start by filing the house with all "healthy" stuff like diet foods, sugar free koolaid, sugar free everything.  I have even been known to buy a workout tape, a gym membership, or a piece of exercise equipment.  With money invested I would surely succeed.  Nope.  Monday never really came.  At least not those Monday's.  With every promise that I broke to myself, I became more cynical about weight loss and more determined to never try again.  I was a lost cause.  Then I  made some determinations:

1)  I determined my money would no longer line the coffers of members of the weight loss industry.  That included gyms, equipment dealers, diet programs (Sorry Jenny), and Diet stuff (Food, etc).  They had received enough of my money, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! 

2)  I determined that if I jump off the wagon (which FYI has been a lot), I would get right back on next meal, and not wait til a fresh start day.  If I had waited for a fresh start day for every time I ate badly; I would've never gotten this diet off the ground and would have given up long ago.  This diet has miraculously survived holiday's, birthdays, family emergencies, anniversary's, impromptu dates, emotional crisis, rainy days, stress, and boredom.  I will say my weight is coming off at a snails pace right now.  Part of that is due to being close to the finish line, and some of it's due to a string of wagon jumping in the past month.  Notice I said wagon jumping instead of falling.  I choose what and when I want to eat.  This past month we've had a birthday, lost power for three days, helped my mom with a yard sale, had some dates, and needed to get groceries (so I was making a lot of goodies for lunches and such).  There's another jump off next week as my Dh and I, along with my sister, are attending a festival in a little over a week.  Then the following week is Thanksgiving.  Do you see how waiting for a fresh start day, especially this time of year, can be less than successful?  But by making sure I'm on the wagon aside from those days or events, I can still be successful.  Even if only a pound or two a  month.  I'll take it over ever going back to the way I was.

3) I determined regardless of what I ate, I would record it and face the music.  Sometimes I record it and think, that wasn't as bad as I thought, and other times I record it and say "YIKES!".  Once I see the damage done, I can take steps to mitigate it.  I would much rather do that than stick my head in the sand and ignore it.  Once I take my head back out of the sand, the damage will be much greater.  Handle it now while it's a small issue.

4)  I determined that I didn't care how long it took to get the weight off.  As long as I was going in the right direction, I was doing good.  Now full disclosure here.  I have one good weigh in a month.  Hormones pretty much screw the others up.  During those three weeks of hormonal fluctuations, I still weigh, but am always talking myself down off the ledge.  And just an FYI, my husband has this same problem; except he has one bad weigh in each month and I have one good.

5)  I determined to NEVER GO BACK...ever.  I don't care if I never lose any more weight.  I will hold this course to never gain that weight again.
 

NEVER AGAIN!!!

But I'm so hungry!

Woo.  There are days.  There are days when I feel like I could eat the paint off the wall.  Well maybe not that bad, but I definitely have the munchies.  The munchies I get now pale in comparison to the  munchies I used to get when my body was trying to use highly processed sugar free fat free "foods".  Those bordered on manic, but these are more of a nuisance.  Now I can usually pin point the problem and mitigate the damage.  Here's what I've found.

1)  I'm really thirsty-  I know this will sound a bit sciencey, but here goes.  You hypothalamus is the kind of foreman in your brain.  It tells everyone else where to go and such.  Well it will trigger you when you need food or water.  One problem with the trigger for hunger and thirst are that they are so similar as to be identical.  Many people miss read a thirst signal to be a hunger signal.  FYI, if you ignore a thirst signal long enough, your hypothalamus will say "screw it" and shut off the signal.  Ever had one of those times where when you finally got a drink you guzzled the whole thing down in one fell swoop? "I didn't realize I was so thirsty!"  Well you had ignored a thirst signal so once you did drink, your body made the most of it.  There are times when I feel like I have the munchies and then I realize I haven't had anything to drink since the coffee that morning.  Many times getting something to drink (Usually water) will do the trick.

2)  I need to move-  Moving covers three things. 

A) It gives me something to do, taking my mind off the munchies. 

B) It suppresses my appetite, probably because I'm not thinking about it, but also all those wonderful endorphin's and such get released.

C) It burns calories which means I can eat more calories throughout the day.  This gives me a grace period so to speak.  I know I have a buffer should I need to eat more.  This is why it's a plus to move when you may be going to an event where food is included.  It also helps if you can't seem to shake the munchies; especially if the hunger is due to stress or emotions.  There are times nothing will work but chocolate.  I feel you sweetie.  Just move!  Then pace yourself calorie wise.  Kind of a controlled Munch. 

3)  I'm Bored-  If you haven't moved today, SEE #2.  Seriously.  Boredom can be a hard thing to resolve.  You may have already moved today.  Now you're bored.  Find some task to occupy you.  You may think "I'm not in the mood to do  "xyz", but make yourself.  If you're in an office job, this one can be hard to do.  Especially if you have co-workers who love to bring in goodies.  YIKES!   I'm blessed in that I'm home and can easily find something that needs to be done.  I realize that and am extremely grateful to my hubby for making that happen.  I used to have a desk job.  I used to have coworkers who liked to bring in goodies.  I know how hard that is to resist.  I also know how hard it is to get unchained from your desk.  On days where we were busy, it wasn't too bad.  It was the S-L-O-W days that got me.  Not sure what your job is like so I'll have to leave the "What" to you.  Here are some thoughts though.  Even if you've already moved for the day; go outside and walk during lunch break.  You can always eat you lunch at your desk if needed.  If you get a 15 minute break too, go outside.  Out from the cooped up office.  Out into the sunshine and fresh air.  Out and away from the goodies.  Out and away from the stress of your job.  Doesn't matter the weather.  GET OUT!

4)  Sometimes I'm just hungry-  Sometimes that's all it is.  It's amazing to me now that I can recognize when I'm really hungry as opposed to other things.  I still go thru my check list of what's causing my feeling of hunger, but i'm where I can go thru that check list instead of immediately jumping onto food.  Sometimes I am really just hungry.  There are times your body just need a few extra calories.  Make them good calories.  Fruits, veggies, proteins, etc.    A bag of chips won't do it I promise: or cakes, candy, cookies.  Use those 160 calories some other way.   But again, if you have moved for the day, you can eat more calories when your body needs it. 

I eat something every 3-4 hours.  Just like a little baby.  I have my three main meals and then snack in between.  Many times when I start to feel hungry, I can look at the clock and go "Yay!  time to eat!" I have noticed that if the calories I'm taking in are quality calories, then I tend to do better at avoiding the munchies.  That doesn't mean no fun foods.  I still have those, but I limit them because I know it won't stay with me very long.

I did have a great breakfast this morning though

2 eggs scrambled
1 slice bacon (real!)
1 bowl of strawberries with
2 tsp choc syrup
2 cups coffee with 1/4 cup whole milk (total) and 2 tsp of sugar (total)

I'll get to eat again in 2 hours.  Life is good.  I actually had to add the chocolate syrup and extra coffee with milk and sugar in order to get my carbs up above 30.  Calories for breakfast?  378.  Right where I want it. 

I hope all this is helping some.  If there is anything I'm missing, please let me know.  I'm not an expert by any stretch of imagination.  This is just my own experience, but I want to help where I can.

Curve balls

I don't do cheat days, and I'll tell  you why.  Life is already pre-programmed with cheat days already included.  You get those curve balls thrown at you where it is hard to follow your eating plan regardless of what plan you're on.  Case in point.  When Irma came through Georgia just recently as a Tropical storm, we lost power for 2 1/2  days.  That meant not only did I not have Spark people to record what I ate, but we also were relegated to eat what was already in the fridge in order to keep from opening the freezer.  I shrugged it off.  I did the best I could do to mitigate the damage, but other than that, just got through that bump in the road.

Holidays, evenings out with that special someone, family emergencies, etc.  There are times when you won't be able to eat how you should.  Shrug it off.  Allow it.  With full knowledge that once this is past, it is right back to taking care of yourself.  Then get back on!  regardless of the number of days this curve ball has, don't wait til the following Monday; "I'll start then my weeks blown anyway".  Immediately after the curve ball is past get back on track.  Your week may be blown, but the damage doesn't have to be added to.  Many times, by getting right back on track, you can lessen the blow.  I gained .8 pounds back that week.  That is much easier to lose than the weight I used to be adding back in the day.  For example,  it used to be the holidays would just be a free for all with the idea that Jan 1st I would start over.  I could put on 6-8 pounds just in those 2 months.  Now, I still have the party days, but I am right back on the next day.

TIP:  I've found that many times at a party or event, just a taste of something to try it has been enough for me.  This helps during the holidays.

The point is to remember You are in charge.  Not the food.  You are in charge of these curve balls.  The decisions you make during these times are the ones that control what happens.  You are not helpless in the presence of cookies, or in times of stress.  You are still in control of what goes in your body.  If you want it, have it with no regrets, realizing there are consequences, but knowing you are gonna accept and reverse those consequences.

TIP:  The stricter the diet plan, the farther you will go before getting back on track.  If you know what a sling shot is, then you will know this analogy.  The further back you pull that band, the further your sling shot will shoot.  Same with a diet plan.  If you are on a really strict diet with severe limitations:  no carbs, fat, beans only (yuck) etc.  Once you open the flood gates, it's gonna be hard to close them back.  That's why it's so important for minimal disruption in your life.  Your eating needs to be on a level where you are eating anything you want in moderation.  Don't deny yourself anything, just eat less of it!

All the best laid plans

Hello!  How ya doin?  How's your family?  Glad you dropped in.

Things are normal here.  I did get to the grocery store.  Remember all those wonderful organization tips I gave in my last post?  Yea...well, I got some of them done.  I got my pantry organized, my fridge wiped out/organized, and a list made up.  I wasn't able to get my freezer defrosted or bread made.  Rubic had the flu so we spent about three hours at the..ahem Quick care center Thursday morning finding out that he had the flu and getting him a doctors excuse for work.  That set me back some.  Still the things I was able to do, made it pretty simple to bring home a months worth of groceries and get them put away.  I was then able to get some bread made for sandwiches and pizza crust made for dinner (thank you bread machine).  So all in all a good trip and planning helped.

I did have a bit of a set back which had nothing to do with my grocery shopping trip.  Back the end of December I started some tomato seeds for this years gardening season.  The plan being I would start the season off with larger plants and hopefully have them produce more before getting taken down by our rather hot summers.  Well, they sprouted and were thriving.  We've had some warmer than normal weather and so I have been taking them outside to get some good sunlight.  I don't have great windows for sunlight in my house.  Things were going swimmingly until, while taking them out for their morning sun bathing, I tripped.  Yep!  I tripped.  Seedlings went flying, across the room to land on the floor.  I lost about half of them immediately and about half again since then. The ones still living are not very happy.  THWARTED AGAIN!

Last on my list; this weekend marks a year since I started my weight loss journey.  My goal for the year was at least 52 pounds lost.  I figured that would be a pound a week.  Alas I fell short by three pounds.  My total is 49 pounds lost.  You know what?  I'll take it.  So I didn't make my goal.  I lost.  I helped care for my dad.  I lost my dad.  I started a new venture in my Etsy shop.  The holidays came just like they do every year, but these were a little tougher.  "Life" Happened.  There were many other intrusions that kept me from obtaining the goal I set for myself.  Funny how life happens.  Life happening is not an excuse we use to not workout as some would have us believe.  It's just a fact.  You adapt.  All the best laid plans you know.  The difference between now and then when it comes to life's intrusions was the fact that I didn't stop or give up.  Each  day was a new start and I made the most of those days.  I accepted the consequences of my actions and moved on.  That's why whatever you chose to do to lose weight, needs to be something easily adapted to YOUR LIFE.

All our lives are different and what we need to accomplish our goals is also different.  We're individuals after all.  Adaptability is the key.  To find that silver lining in mistakes you might have made and learn from them, grow from them, not to repeat them. To take lemons life hands you and make lemonade from it so to speak.

So I will keep plugging along.  I'm not going back.  I am told the longer it takes for weight to come off, means it will stay off longer.  Yay!  So I will keep on keeping on.  I'll get the rest of the weight off in due time.

I do have an Achilles...

Yep.  I am not the strong dieting force one would have you believe.  I have faced down coffee cake, cookies. Chic Fila Fries, etc without blinking.  Yet here I am thwarted by.....Sams Club cakes.  Hey but they're good!  We ordered a cake for our Father's day family get together, and for Einstein's graduation (ahem with honors).  The Get together and party were on the same day.  We ended up bringing home almost 1 1/2 cakes; one vanilla with whipped frosting and the other chocolate with chocolate frosting.  Both are calling my name.  What's a girl to do!!!!!!

LET"S EAT!

Just kidding.  Well not entirely.  I am having cake.  I'll probably not lose weight this week.  I've accepted that.  I was probably not going to anyway.  DH is on vacation, Fathers/Graduation Day celebrations, taking Einstein out to lunch in honor of his accomplishments (ahem with honors), and a camping trip scheduled for this weekend.  Talk about running the gauntlet.  So this is one of those times where I say SCREW IT!  I'm trying (so far successfully) to pace myself.  I'm still trying to count as much as I can and not go over too much   I'm also trying to make sure I'm being active.   I've already resigned myself to whatever the scale says on Monday.  I can say Screw it because whatever isn't eaten by my two sons and their friends this weekend, will be thrown out!  There shouldn't be anything left (I hope).  Monday's weigh in will be my resume day.  This is just one of those times when you break a bit.  I'm sure Christmas will be another.  It's called life.  I would rather have the cake and eat it too.  Haha.  I would rather have the cake when I want it than after I have eaten everything else trying to not eat the cake only to then eat the cake.  Know what I mean?  So that is how I plan.

So this post isn't a total loss.  Here is Einstein's Graduation cake!